Homer Simpson, my hero!

" I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! "

"All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals. "

" Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? "


" Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.' "

" Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. "

“ To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems!”

"Ahhhh, the sweet little seconds before I remember why I am sleeping on the lawn."
   
" I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"
    
" I hope I didn't brain my damage."

" I don't know what that is, so i'm gonna say yes."

" Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? "


" Operator! Give me the number for 911! "

" Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. "

" If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. "