Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.
Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment... I would become a better public speaker.